Toiletscribble - Latest Comments in Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

sabrina — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:48:52 -0000

PS Fitz- The ToiletScribble Collective = Suburban New Jersey Emo/Punk Band operating out of your parents' garage?

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

sabrina — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:34:47 -0000

Here are some Japanese names that I found by googling "Japanese Names."

ATASUSHI [#1], EUI, FUMIO, DAISUKE, GORO [Obvious good one,] HIDEAKI, HOTAKA, KAZUHIKO [Or KAZUHERO = Equally great,] MASASHI, NOBUYUKI, MITSUBISHI, KAWASAKI, SUBARU, SHIG, TAMOTSU [Or TIRAMISU,] and, because a classic never dies, YOSHI.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:01:58 -0000

Ricky - It could only be better if her name was Phuc Me

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Ricky — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:10 -0000

True story...there was a foreign exchange student at my high school. His name was (and i'm not kidding) Phuc Le. This was funny.

One day, one of my awesome teachers was at her computer and started dying laughing. She turned around and told me to come look. Sure enough, it was his full name: Phuc Hu Le.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:44:13 -0000

Sunny - I like your take on this! I think the menu ordering thing hit home the most. It makes so much sense! I once knew a Japanese girl named Pingh Pohng. She liked doing white lines and doing it on a table. If we hit this 1% finder's fee we might be able to change the world.....all of us together....the toiletscribble collective.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

sabrina — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:37:52 -0000

Further supporting the theory that Japanese and Asians in general ["Pan-Asians" OR "Pan-Fried Asians"] are obviously not human are the following FACTS:

FACT: They get to choose their own names. Contrary to popular belief, this does not happen only in America. Nail salons are the most obvious example of this fact. Popular Nail Tech names include Sue, Young, SUNNY [or Sun], Grace, Ann, Kim, and Donna. They choose one of these direct pronoun gold nuggets instead of their "real" names, supposedly so that their ignorant American customers don't improperly pronounce or forget their actual names. [Examples of actual asian names include Pan Sook, Ning San, An Young, On, Pihng Pohng, Nil Pang, Tat Pook, Loohk Nau, and Mami Wata.] The reality of the situation, Johnny, is that Pihng Pohng translates directly back to Grace and you have been fooled.

FACT: Asians prefer things to be numbered because robots are person-shaped computers and computers interpret data using numbers. For example, when I call Magic Wok [914.769.5656 #1 Most Palatable Szechuan Cuisine in the greater Westchester area] I often order a #47 instead of Steamed Pork Dumplings, in order to bypass the information translation step.

FACT: Asian advertising often utilizes cartoon imagery because Asians have identified with cartoons since the Jetsons pioneered the Robot Acceptance Movement [R.A.M.] by having a robotic "Hired Helper."

So, seeing as the above facts are clearly accurate, I'd say that we, as a dotcom collective, have made a HUGE, fantastic, and groundbreaking discovery in the field of anthropology.

You have to figure that if we get away with a measly 1% of the astronomical finder's fee, we'll all be able to say "Fuuuuuuuck YOU!" [or "That idea is not fantastic, Krys,"] at our jobs within the month.

My final thought is that my licensure also makes me a Nail Tech and I would prefer to be addressed as Sunny from this point forward.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Ryan — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:10:39 -0000

Oh, and on the "in love thing" I'm totally not hehe

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Ryan — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:06:18 -0000

FITZ!!! LOL the meat race is a competition at our local BBQ joint, they have an insane meat platter. Firs tone done wins. But your Answer was full of win too. Thanks for the input!
-Ryan

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Ricky — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:41:06 -0000

Fitz...I am just awesome like that.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:47:08 -0000

Dylan - I didnt notice your comment up there. You're welcome! And wait till you hear about sushi!! Maybe I shouldn't tell you about it actually

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:25:43 -0000

Ricky - how did you type "I guess you will never know!" with the power out?

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Ricky — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:30:21 -0000

Krys - big, tough (yet gentle), hairy, sex-crazed men? Let me give you my phone number. Its 606- *power outage*

I guess you will never know!

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:23:10 -0000

Danielle - Get some damn speakers! How in the hell can you survive without toiletscribble 'on demand'?

Joker - It was a little white lie and Momma said it wouldn't hurt nobody. Also, do you have a van?

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Joker — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:11:39 -0000

Danielle - That 15:1 Ratio is required by the National Association of Men. We have a meeting every 6 months to decide things like... what is the best form of alcohol, and what to do with all our Japanese robots.

Fitz - You lied to me... I've lost faith in you. *sniffle*

Also - I like the kidnapping idea. I like it alot actually.... Hell, I'll drive the van.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Danielle — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:36:07 -0000

Krys Lee - I already found mine, and I'm not sharing. I even tricked him into thinking he tricked me into marrying him, Sucka. But maybe one of these days I'll divulge the semi-embarrassing place I met him.
Until then, keep trying to find the elusive big hairy tough man who puts out food and protein. For every 15 bad dates, there is usually one OK one!

Fitz - I can't wait to get home and actually watch this video. The speakers don't work on my work computer. And now that I know you don't really get naked at the end, I'm not going to watch it without sound.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:53:14 -0000

Charlotte - I live on coffee

Krys Lee - FANTASTIC!!!

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Krys Lee — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:27:07 -0000

Danielle- Where can we both go to find a couple of big, tough, hairy, sex crazed men who want nothing more than to feed us a good dinner, serve us a few strong drinks and then show us their pride and joy?

Fitz- Every time I hear/read you use the word Fantastic I hear the gay voice.. See all you had to do was say it that way once and now I'm ruined.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

charlotte sometimes — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:53:51 -0000

Holy shit, Fitz...hyper much? I had to watch this a couple of times just to get whateverthehellyouweretalkingabout.

Caffeine is not always your friend. Nakedness is. Stop with the instant java and off with the clothes!

Good answers though. I want Ryan to report back on how the homosexuality test went.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Danielle — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:30:52 -0000

Krys lee - I think I went on a date with that same guy.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

toiletscribble — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:33:11 -0000

Krys Lee - I thought it was a fantastic comment

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Krys Lee — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:06:31 -0000

Wow.
I want to very sincerely apologize to Fitz and everyone else for that ridiculous comment I just left. Not sure what's wrong with me this morning.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Krys Lee — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:01:20 -0000

Way to get naked buddy.. 9 minutes of garble about robots taking over the world, dudes acting like chicks; wondering who their secret crush is really interested in and how they can be just like that person, NUMEROUS mention of your precious Iphone (which I get enough of from my 16 year old brother).. I feel fucking cheated.. That was just like going on a really hot date with someone you've CONVINCED yourself is going to be the biggest turn-on since that kid that licked your earlobe in the 8th grade.. So you wait, and you wait, and you smile and nod while he talks about his homo-erotic gaming nights with his "hetero-soul mates", that girl in the not so distant past who really taught him what heartbreak feels like, his loose and poorly thought out theories on the Mechanical Apocolypse (listen buddy, fuck the machines and start preparing for the undead, and even in the event of a MA, there's no way in hell you've watched the Terminator series as many times as I have, I'm not impressed.) By the end of it, like at the end of this video, I come to the shamefully depressing realization that... No one brought the penis..
Thanks Fitz.

P.S. My search for "undressing irishmen" on youtube came up dry.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

dylan — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:32:44 -0000

thanks for the answers, Fitz. and for the plug. though your answer frightens me. i'll never look at sushi the same way again.

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Dawn — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:43:39 -0000

Wait- you have an iPhone?

Re: Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Erika — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:48:31 -0000

Congratulations on your iPhone.

Erika recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Yum!